Never Fear
by 247wonder
Summary: Takes place a year or two after the anime. Jamais, Howl's sister, is in trouble. After years of trying to forget her, Howl has no choice but to find Jamais when Sophie decides to get involved. Rated T just to be safe. Enjoy!
1. Two Minds

**Chapter 1: Two Minds**

 _Forgive me…_

The word rang in his mind louder every minute. For the first time in what… Ten years now? It had returned. Or rather, _she_ had.

 _Forgive me…_

Her eyes were all he could see through the silky darkness of the dream world. Eyes that had once gleamed with a self-sustaining light. It made him sick to see them now, their luster absent.

Those eyes were empty now, their brilliant blue reduced to a pitiful, watery grey. There had always been sadness in those eyes, but now it was unbearable.

 _Will you come back?_

A single tear formed, glinting as it fell. The last of the light.

 _I am dying._

Those eyes had been so strong before, so bright. Howl had never bothered to answer the calls in those days. The only problems he dealt with back then were his own. Besides, she had seemed strong enough to take care of herself.

Then, at least.

But now, after seeing how hopeless and weak those same eyes had become…

It made him sick knowing he could have stopped it.

"Howl?"

Sophie appeared at the top of the stairs, looking at down at him with concern. He stopped pacing, quickly hiding his unrest to regard her.

"Go back to bed, Sophie."

"What's wrong?" She asked, ignoring him. She crept down the stairs to join him in front of the hearth. "Why are you up at this time?"

"Just thinking." He replied. "You should go back to sleep."

She shook her head stubbornly. "Not until you tell me what's wrong. And don't say it's nothing, I can see it in your eyes."

Howl glanced away. Figures. Eyes had been the cause of this, now his own had betrayed him, revealing his distress to Sophie. The last person he wanted to be caught up in it all.

"I'll explain in the morning." He told her, hoping that would satisfy her. "Now, go back to bed."

For a long time, Sophie was silent, giving him that look. That look she gave him when she knew he was trying to keep the matter from her. Though she knew better than to argue with him at such an early hour.

"Fine." She reluctantly agreed. "... But you _will_ tell me what's wrong."

She paused, sighing. "I haven't seen you like this since the war."

Howl watched as she went back upstairs, waiting to hear the soft _click_ of the door behind her.

 _Oh, Sophie._ He thought. _The war was only the beginning of our troubles._

xxx

I was about thirteen when I was Chosen. For what, exactly, I still cannot explain. That was why my parents kept me hidden. People didn't understand the Chosen. My parents were afraid that I would be rejected, so they kept me away from civilization.

I knew something about me was different. In a good way or a bad way I could not tell. It came naturally to me, and I embraced it. Being Chosen _felt_ good, but my parents seemed to think otherwise. They thought my being Chosen would make me an outcast to the world.

I was lucky my parents cared for me enough to keep me around. There were countless tales of Chosen being thrown out of their own homes and banished to the Wastes, never to be seen again. Many people hated the Chosen and their strange ways, though I couldn't see why. What could possibly be so threatening about a girl my age? Why couldn't they understand?

I was desperate to know, I wanted them to see. I wanted to show them this new feeling that made my heart soar.

But my parents held me back, warning me that the people wouldn't listen. Telling me I should ignore the feeling, and perhaps I wouldn't do anything rash. They meant well, I knew, but I simply couldn't allow myself to be shut up.

Before I could convince my parents of this, disaster struck. A terrible storm that tore the village apart. The nearby river flooded higher than ever before, causing unbearable destruction.

In about three days' time, it passed, leaving the dark shadow of ruin in its wake. I was sent away with my little brother to live with our aunt and uncle in the valley.

"You'll be safer there," My father told me. "We'll come to get you in a few weeks, alright? After we help clean up the town."

I nodded solemnly.

"Now, where is your brother?" My mother asked, adding a few more things to my bag. "You two need to get going."

"Coming!" He cried, hurrying from the hall with his overstuffed pack.

"You can't take all that!" I told him. "You won't last an hour carrying so much. And I'm sure not going to carry it for you."

"I'm afraid your sister's right." My father told him. Instantly, he fell into a fit. Typical.

I waited aside as my parents fussed over him, eventually persuading him to leave behind a few of his precious trinkets.

"They'll be here when you get back." Mother told him calmly, situating the lightened bag on his back. He only pouted, refusing to change his attitude.

"Oh, come now," I say. "We have to get going. If you don't pick up your feet, I'll have to leave you behind!"

"Be nice, Jamais." My father chided. I apologized.

In a few minutes, we were starting down the path leading away from our house. Brother in tow, I looked back to wave for the hundredth time, calling out a final goodbye before we went out of earshot.

"This'll be fun." I told my brother, ruffling his short black hair. "You'll see." He only huffed in reply. I smiled. He would come out of it soon enough. I knew my brother well, and was determined to keep him safe, even if he was hard to deal with sometimes.

To shorten the story, We arrived at our aunt and uncle's house, staying there for the expected few weeks until our parents returned. Weeks turned to months. They didn't come.

Finally, we were forced to assume something terrible had happened to them. It felt horrible. I suddenly became cold inside. A piece of my heart had gone missing, a part that could not be replaced.

I forgot about being Chosen. I forgot about the world. I forgot about my brother. As time passed, I turned icy. There was no feeling in me. I was empty. A mere shell of a girl with no warmth of life to speak of.

I refused to eat, and it affected me more than physically. I began to go mad, rambling incessant nonsense that seemed to put even my uncle on edge. He himself was quite unusual, being a wizard and all, but even he still had his sanity.

 _I have to get out of here…_ I thought one night. It was the first logical thing my insane mind had come up with in weeks. _I'm scaring them…_

It was true. My brother was terrified of me, and it broke my heart. My uncle couldn't figure out what was wrong for the life of him, trying countless potions and elixirs to revive my sanity. Or at least interpret some of my ranting notions. My aunt, who was a timid woman, kept her distance. I was afraid of myself. What had I become? Where was the feeling that had been so comforting before? Where was that power that made me want to sprout wings and fly?

I had forgotten all about being Chosen, but I clearly remembered the feeling it brought. And it tortured me not knowing how to get it back. To have at least some substance in my empty soul.

I felt more pieces of my heart drop from my chest as I gathered what few belongings I was going to take with me. I listened to them hit the floor, one by one. Wincing when a large one shattered.

The one that held my brother.

I stifled a sob, biting my lip to silence it. I had to get out quickly.

It was night, so I didn't have to worry about being seen. I left a note, though it was doubtful they would be able to decipher it.

"Jamais?"

My brother stood in the doorway, looking groggy. He must have heard me pass his room. The boy had the most uncanny hearing.

I didn't reply, barely regarding him. The last thing I needed was something to make me want to stay. I had already caused enough terror.

"Why are you crying?"

He took a hesitant step towards me, looking genuinely concerned, but still somewhat afraid to come near me. My hands stopped moving. Dropping the bowl I held with a soft clatter into my sack.

"Go back to bed." I told him. I couldn't keep my voice from cracking. He shook his head, stubborn as ever. "What's wrong?"

I didn't reply. Knowing if I did, he would only pry further. Why? Why? Why? That would be the end of me. His curious innocence, only wanting his sister to stay.

But I couldn't stay. I knew that well enough. The decision was made.

Unable to hold myself back, I hugged him. The last show of affection I could give. He flinched with shock, and I pulled away. He, still oblivious to what was going on, watched as I went to the door.

"I'm sorry." I said as I paused at the threshold. More tears brimmed in my eyes. "... Forgive me, if you can."

Without staying to hear his response, I hurried out. Closing the door silently behind me before sprinting into the dark countryside. It was a new moon that night, and I was well into the cover of the shadows before my brother could come out after me. Not that he would chase me down anyway. Why peruse something that terrifies you so?

Tears streamed down my face as I ran farther and farther away from the last pieces of my shattered heart.

I was empty, but at least my brother could grow up without having to fear his own sister.

 **I apologize ahead of time for any delay in updates! Please review & tell me what you think! (This is my second story, the first few chapters are pre-written, but later ones might take me a while!) Thank you so much for reading! X3 **

**-Wonder**


	2. Troublesome Matters

**Chapter 2: Troublesome Matters**

 **Okay, so apparently Autocorrect HATES everybody's names... I'll try to get that fixed. While I do that, please enjoy Chapter 2! :3**

 **-Wonder**

Sophie awoke for the second time to find only empty sheets next to her. She groaned, sitting up. She knew something was very wrong with Howl. He had been muttering in his sleep before she found him downstairs the other night. Which was odd, since the wizard usually slept rather soundly. It was rare something woke him like this.

She only hoped that it wouldn't affect him too much, she hated seeing him like this.

Keeping the worry in the back of her mind, Sophie got out of bed and put on her day clothes. Heading downstairs to start breakfast.

xxx

 _I run away with the night bird tonight_

 _Do not peruse me in my flight._

 _For in this night's darkness, fear has died._

 _Seek out not what terrifies with haste._

 _For what is unwelcome goes to Waste._

 _As I am dead to you, you shall stay alive._

Howl read the note again and again. He hadn't slept since his dream the other night. This was all he had that carried any connection at all to this. He knew vaguely what it meant, and remembered all too well where it had come from. The only thing that stood in his way was the fact he simply couldn't decipher the full meaning of the scrawl.

Well... that, and his cowardice...

"... _Howl_ "

Howl blinked, Sophie's voice shaking him from his trance. His senses suddenly flipped back into reality. Sophie was standing with the skillet in one hand and a plate in the other. She met his gaze with a concerned look.

"You look ill, are you going to tell me what's wrong yet?" She asked. He could tell it was killing her not knowing. Howl cursed himself silently. If only he had kept it hidden better…

Then again, he knew better than to hide things from Sophie. Even if he tried, she was bound find out.

He had been so engrossed with the scrawl that he hadn't heard her come down to make breakfast. Even though Calcifer was free to come and go as he pleased now, he chose to stay. Even continuing to help cook most of the time.

"Yeah, Howl." Piped said party from the hearth. "You haven't been looking so good."

Howl said nothing, other than to thank Sophie for the food.

"Don't worry, Sophie." Said Markl, already shoveling eggs into his mouth. "Master Howl can't keep a secret from you for too long."

Howl was surprised at the statement. Sophie laughed,

"Eat your breakfast now, Markl." She told him, smiling. Howl was relieved she didn't say anything else on the matter.

Sophie eyed Howl silently as she at her own food. The worn scrap of paper he held was the center of his attention, leaving his plate untouched and going cold.

"What's that, Howl?" She finally asked, unbearably curious. Was that what had him so upset? A letter from Madame Suliman perhaps? That would certainly put him in a state like this.

"Hm?" Howl replied, looking up as if he only just realized she was there. Again. "Oh… Just an old letter."

She heard him mutter something else under his breath, like "I just can't figure it out…"

"Can I see it?" Sophie asked, perking up. She wanted to so anything she could to help him. Howl looked hesitant. Despite how he still wanted to keep as much of this as he could to himself, he decided it wouldn't do any harm to let her see the note. After all, if _he_ still couldn't decipher it, what difference would it make? It would still only be gibberish to her.

"... I suppose." He said, handing the weathered paper to her. She scanned it carefully.

"A poem?" She inquired.

"I'm not sure." Howl admitted. "It's all nonsense to me."

"That's what most poems seem like at first." Sophie murmured, reading it again. After a minute, she concluded,

"Someone ran away to the Wastes at night. They don't want to be followed because whoever it is thinks they're scaring people."

A stunned silence followed. Sophie looked up, seeing Howl wide-eyed with disbelief.

"What? How did you…?!"

"I like reading." Sophie stated simply, handing the paper back to him. As if that explained everything. Howl himself had read thousands of books in his lifetime. Though he had to admit, many of them were for the sole purpose of his studies in magic. None had been so cryptic in their meaning.

"Wow, Sophie, you're smart." Markl said, getting up from the table. He shoved his empty plate into the already full sink, making the other dishes teeter precariously in their stacks, before running to where Heen lay dozing by the back door. "Come on, Heen!" The apprentice called to the old dog. The two hurried out to the yard.

Sophie waited for the door to shut behind them before turning back to Howl.

"Is that what has you so upset?" She asked gently.

"Partially…" He immediately regretted saying that. She would keep asking until she got the entire story out of him. Glancing up at her from the note, he couldn't take it any more.

"She was… Family." He explained, still reluctant to tell her more than he needed to. "This is all she left behind."

"Anything else?" Her voice was quiet, careful, but she knew she was still prying.

"She's in trouble."


	3. Stalling

**Chapter 3: Stalling**

"Absolutely not." Howl said. That was final.

"But-!"

"No, Markl! You stay here. Enough is being risked with Sophie coming. Besides, you need to keep an eye on _Madame Willa_." The wizard still wasn't used to calling the old witch that, but Sophie had insisted on calling her by a "more proper name". Instead of the Witch of the Waste, she was now Madame Wilhelmine, (or "Willa" for short) a harmless old grandmother who just so happened to have a sinister past.

Markl groaned, muttering something about it not being fair as he stormed off to the yard. Howl glanced forlornly at Sophie, who had just finished getting ready to go. He couldn't say he completely regretted letting her come along. There was a certain comfort in having her nearby when he was so terrified. It reminded him of when they had met.

Though he still hated to drag her into this. It was his own fault he hadn't done this earlier.

But there was no time to think about that now. He knew where _she_ was, if only he could get Sophie to stay behind...

xxx

Sophie didn't know how Howl planned to find whoever he was looking for, but he seemed to know what he was doing. Though he kept glancing at her, seeming reluctant as he prepared to leave.

He was stalling.

"You can't make me stay, and you know it." She told him.

Howl sighed, looking defeated. There was something he was trying desperately to keep her out of. But that made her all the more determined to find out what. Not only because of her stubbornness, but because something told her he wouldn't be able to deal with it on his own.

xxx

Viper could sense something was off. She seemed…calm. For the first time in all the years he had known her, she showed absolutely no trace of her conflicted mind.

Her confidence was a threat. Without her constant inner toil, Viper couldn't be sure she was still under his control.

 _What is she up to?_

xxx

Howl remembered his uncle's words all too well. "She's got a strange kind of magic about her…almost scary, it is. March was wise to keep her away from the town." March being his father's name, March Jenkins. He, unlike his brother, had not pursued wizardry. Preferring a more quiet, humble lifestyle. Meaning Howl's flamboyance obviously came from some other part of the family.

 _She_ had never been very extravagant. Odd, and, admittedly, frighteningly so at times, but never seeming to share any traits with him. Some days he wondered if they were even related. But then he would remember her eyes, celestial blue orbs that pierced his dreams and spoke without words. A power greater than any magic. A power the wizard had only just begun to explore.

"Howl…"

Calcifer's voice shook him from his daze. He had been worrying again. Digging up memories of _her._ He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, looking to Calcifer.

"... Are you sure you want to do this? No one said you two had to be reconciled."

Howl shook his head. "It's not that, Calcifer. She's in trouble."

"I heard. But what does it matter to you? You barely knew her."

"Something tells me that won't matter if she… You know…"

"... Dies?" Calcifer finished, "Oh, come _on,_ Howl. Is it really worth it to risk so much when things will be the same whether or not she's living? Personally, I'd have her dead. Your sister is a freak! Not to mention scary."

Howl was quiet for a long time, staring at the back wall of the fireplace before answering,

"Maybe so, but I get the feeling something terrible will happen if I don't find her now."

"Let's go, then!"

Howl started, having completely forgotten about Sophie, who had just gone upstairs to retrieve a few items for their journey. She came down the stairs now, looking victorious. It was too late to plead with her now. She was coming, whether he liked it or not. Besides, they were losing daylight. The journey would have to be made on foot, despite the obvious dangers. Howl could protect himself and Sophie easier if they were alone, since protecting an entire castle was strenuous and draining. The wizard would need all his strength if something went wrong. And, just in case, Calcifer promised to follow them at a safe distance.

"I still don't see why I have to stay." Markl grumbled as the pair stood ready to leave. "I'm good at magic now, and Grandma Willa doesn't do anything anyway! She just sits around and stares at Calcifer!"

"What a pretty fire…" The ancient woman murmured in the background. Calcifer groaned, saying something like "Not this again".

"Oh, be nice, Markl." Sophie chided.

"... Besides, you may be advancing in your studies, but you're far from finished. This is a more dangerous matter than you think." Howl emphasized the last bit, glancing at Sophie. She ignored him, of course.

Markl turned, grumbling some more about how it still wasn't fair. Howl waited for him to be out of earshot before turning to Sophie one more time. Before he could even open his mouth to speak, she said,

"I'm coming, Howl. I may not know magic, but I can be useful, and you know it."

Howl shut his mouth. Even if he did have a chance of persuading her to stay, he couldn't be sure she _wouldn't_ be needed on this trip. She had a certain way with people, especially him. It was like her own kind of magic, which always proved helpful in any situation.

Seeing she had finally silenced him, Sophie reached for the doorknob. In which moment Howl noticed something else...

"You're going to wear _that?_ " He said, sounding a bit concerned as he inquired the ring on her finger. She gave him a puzzled look.

"I always wear it, Howl, is there something wrong with that? Or are you just stalling again…"

Howl shook his head, "No, no, it's just… Don't you think it might be safer if _she_ doesn't know?"

Sophie stared at him for a second, then seemed to realize what he was talking about.

"If you two are so distant, I wouldn't expect her to be upset about not being invited to the wedding. But I'll leave it if that's the last it takes to get going." She went back up the stairs, taking off her wedding band and setting it on the table, telling Markl to take care it didn't get lost. He muttered something incoherent, but nodded. Howl knew better than to try and sneak out while she was distracted, knowing he would be committing suicide if he did.

Finally, there was nothing else to delay them.

Howl couldn't tell if he found it resolving or utterly dreadful.

 **I love this story so much, PLEASE review and tell me how I can improve and what you think about it! Chapter 4 is in progress, and I'll need your input! Thanks again for reading! God bless!**

 **-Wonder**


	4. Arrival

**Chapter 4: Arrival**

 **This chapter's a little bit shorter, but if I put everything I needed to get in for this part of the story in one chapter, it would be like a complete story in itself! Anyway, I'll get you guys the next part soon. Please review! Enjoy! X3**

 **-Wonder**

I couldn't help but smile. Viper had no idea. I felt powerful, for the first time in years. He couldn't control this. I could tell it was driving him crazy. I laughed to myself at the thought, now there were two of us.

Soon, I would be free. Very soon.

I just have to be patient.

xxx

Howl stopped at the top of a rocky knoll. They had been walking for only a few minutes, and he could feel the air changing. There was ancient magic here, older than any he knew existed.

And it was getting stronger.

xxx

"We're close." He said, Sophie, who stood just behind him, searched the mountainside. The Wastes were colder than usual this time of year, she clutched her shawl around her shoulders, being careful not to shiver. She couldn't let Howl find any excuse to take her back to the castle.

Before long, the pair came across a pale orange glow cutting through the afternoon mist. A structure looking somewhat like their own castle sat in the hillside, half of it hidden in the mountain itself. A dim light seeped from the narrow windows.

"Is that it?" Sophie asked. Howl didn't reply, standing still for what seemed like forever, not taking his eyes off the house. Memories stirred in the back of his mind. Quickly, he started towards the light, swallowing the thoughts before they could stop him.

They paused again at the doorstep. Sophie could feel Howl's anxiety worsen as the silence dragged on. The tension finally became too heavy. The wizard reached for the brass ring on the door, but before he even touched it, he stopped. Sophie noticed his normally steady hands begin to shake. Not saying a word, she took his outstretched hand, bringing it back to his side and keeping it there while she took the knocker with her other hand. One hard, swift tap echoed through the silence, which hung thick as the slowly gathering fog. Sophie felt Howl's fingers weave between hers. She, in silent return, squeezed his hand reassuringly.

After what seemed like forever, a small noise came from within. The slightest murmuring of voices, followed by barely audible footsteps that seemed to ring deafeningly through the tense quiet.

Finally, the massive door was opened. Behind it stood a young boy, looking no older than ten or eleven years old, with cropped, honey-gold hair and bright emerald eyes. He appeared to be a servant boy, with a simple outfit. His only ornament being a thin gold chain around his neck, a triangular pendant hanging from it.

"Welcome, guests," He said, his voice, not pitchy as one would expect for a boy his age, but smooth and quiet. He seemed like a timid child, interested only in serving. "My mistress has been expecting you. Please, come with me."

The boy stepped to the side, granting the pair passage into the hall behind the door. It was not a grand hall, as Howl had expected from the echoes that seemed to come from it. But rather average in size and decor. Sophie, still holding his hand where no one could see, nudged him forward.

xxx

The pair followed the door boy through the hall until the walls opened up into a dim living space. The only light came from the hearth, joined by a few candles on the far walls where firelight didn't reach. Howl and Sophie stayed near the corridor, watching as the boy went to a chair facing the fire, the tall back obscuring the form that sat there.

"They are here, Mistress," He informed the chair's occupant, his voice soft.

Sophie could feel Howl's hand go cold. He knew who sat in that chair. And for one reason or another, he was terrified. Sophie squeezed his hand again. He wouldn't move.

There was silence for a few minutes, before the woman spoke again,

"It has been a long, long time since I saw my brother, Gareth." She said quietly, sounding distant. Gareth nodded. Then, as if she had already forgotten what the boy had said, "... Could you check the door again?"

"I've told you, Mistress, they have arrived." Gareth reminded her gently. The boy had the patience of a saint. "Would you like to see them?"

xxx

There was a long pause. Before the woman could speak again, someone else came into the room from the opposite side. A tall, well-built man with wild blood red hair and eyes almost black. He had come with a purpose, but seeing the visitors, he halted. Looking first at Sophie, then to Howl. His expression suddenly turning dark.

Howl could tell by the way the man walked, he was no servant.

 _He must be the master of the house…_ He thought, which was a bit strange, since something about this man just wasn't right. He had an air about him that seemed almost… Sinister…

xxx

"Who are these people, and what are they doing in my house?" He demanded. Gareth's soft gaze seemed to harden when he stormed to the other side of the chair.

"... My brother is here…"

"Send them away, Caethes."

"My name is not Caethes." The words were defiant, but the woman's voice wavered when she said them.

Without even seeing her, Sophie knew then.

 _She's afraid of him._

"Do not test my patience!" He growled. Sophie felt Howl's hand twitch. "I command you to send them away."

There was a long pause. The servant boy, Gareth, was burning a hole into the man, not seeming to care he was only half his size. The boy was obviously enraged, though he kept still and silent.

"This is not your house, either." The woman replied. "Now go away, Viper. This is one thing I will not allow you to intervene."

Viper fumed, looking as if he might strangle her. Her _and_ Gareth. But turned away, nonetheless. Not looking at the bewildered visitors as he stormed out of the room, his original purpose likely forgotten in his anger.

"Disobedient wench…" He growled under his breath before disappearing.

There was no doubt.

Sophie hated that man.


End file.
